Satire
Dixie Chicken commended for beautiful breasts
An iconic Mile End chicken shop has recently been celebrated for the size, shape, and even perkiness of their wonderful breasts which have left many…
Recent graduate would like to thank spark notes, google scholar and the ctrl+F function for her degree
Recent politics graduate, Anna (22), has come forth on Facebook to thank those who really helped her through her degree. In her recent post on…
WATCH: “We created a fake SU election candidate”
In the run up to the Students’ Union Presidential elections, the talk on campus was nothing short of dull and predictable. Small talk evolved from…
President Trump is Democracy’s “final boss tier”, finds Brookings Institute
Recent research conducted by the American Brookings Institute has found that Donald J Trump, 45th president of the United States, is the direct equivalent of…
Horoscopes
Aries For the first time in a while, you’ll start feeling like yourself again. But don’t be feeling it too much. We both know what’s…
From Eton To Harrow: Endless Diversity In Parliament
This month I was lucky enough to spend a week interning at the Houses of Parliament. Excited and nervous, I went off to perform the…
The Guillotine’s Advice Column
Anon: Help! I really want to fuck my lecturer. I can't get over this BURNING URGE, what should I do? You know babes, most…
Huge Number of Students Misinterpret The Meaning of SHAG Week
The Ambrose sexual health clinic, at the Royal London Hospital, have reported a huge increase in patients following Queen Mary’s SHAG week. Apparently, many students…
Queen Mary Tories Celebrate Pension Cuts
The few Conservative members at Queen Mary University have planned two weeks of ‘non-stop’ partying during the strikes, in order to celebrate the pension cuts.…