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“How Often Should I Call My Mom?”: In Conversation With Professor Life In My 20s

Contributor, Laura, offers insight on how to survive your 20s.

“Yeah, my room is clean, don’t worry, talk to you soon,” and beep. Although my room is not always clean, it is best to end conversations with mom on a positive note and sound reliable to show independence and leadership over my own life because we all know that being in our 20s can be complex. You may be on your road to being a millionaire, an average citizen, a Nobel prize winner, an Academy Award winner, a ‘most shots per night’ winner, a parent even. And this is partly what makes this decade so hard – we are all on such different paths.

It may seem that everyone in university is more or less longing for the same thing — the regulars like a normal job, some friends and potential romantic ties. But, oh boy, that is not the case. 

You are in a pottery class, screwing up your work, not knowing what to do, feeling like you are doing everything wrong because you know no one, and it looks like everyone else is doing great. And then you finish the class, start talking to others and figure out that everyone else was also struggling. The ‘everyone is doing better than me’ feeling creeps up everywhere, not just in an imaginary pottery class.

Fear not because the revealing sensation is also true in life – others feel like they are screwing up just as much all the time, whether it is pottery, school, relationships or anything else. What lessens the screwups is bonding over them. 

Yet, the question remains, to what extent does creating bonds with new people lead to breaking bonds with the old ones, like parents? It is simple chemistry. You can have a reaction that is an equilibrium or a reaction that heavily shifts to one side or another. Neither of them is better than the other if the result proves your hypothesis which in the best-case scenario should be ‘I am happy with the connections I have made and surrounded myself with’. 

Though Kanye has dedicated a whole album to his mom Donda, I dedicate my independence and freedom to my parents and my new acquaintances.

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