Women’s March: To Infinity and Beyond

Women’s March: To Infinity and Beyond

I have heard of this group of superheroes, almost impossible to catch a glimpse of, but I heard they are amazing (obviously an unbiased opinion). They usually use a good disguise to blend in, hide their powers, and try to not attract attention. “Human woman” is the standard costume used, not without huge issues linked to the necessary anonymity.

A certain category of men play a huge role in the anonymity part, so good at helping us not to be noticed, they are really pushing for it: making us feel inferior, invisible even, embarrassing us, harassing or even assaulting us. Those same men want to keep superheroes from using their powers without a disguise, to the point where they just dismiss them.

“Superheroes do not exist!” What? They don’t exist? Well (to this particular group of men), let me break it down for you.  Keeping women from using their superpowers is like trying to forbid Trump to (allegedly) collude with Russia. It is impossible. So yes, women use their superpowers all the time.

And once a year, for the past three years, they embrace their superpower status. It is that time of the year were women go in the street, annoy everyone who wants to go about their day, with no buses running, traffic all over central London and a wave of crochet vaginas and rose crowns going towards Trafalgar Square. It’s Women’s March Time!

The Women’s March is a vision of superpower women and their entourage on its own. Groups of ladies from ethnic minority joining? They see their sisters not in terms of where they come from, but by the struggle they faced. Women with their families? No problem, the crying baby – whom the partner could not calm down – is handled at the same time the selfies are taken and the meaningful claps and cheers are given to the speakers of the day. First-timer and not sure what to do with herself in a crowd? Then starts to clap and nod and blossoms to a cheering amazon chatting to whoever is next to her. A long-time protester? Has the power, by her old age and experience as a believer everything we do can exult change, to transfer it to the remote joiner only half interested but will keep the face of this woman on his or her mind.

And from there, the sky is the limit. Oh wait, I can see something shining between the sky and me… like a glass roof. No, more like a ceiling. But it’s no problem. When you think we want to reach the sky, we really want to reach the stars. But as opposed to you, we multi-task. I know. It’s another superpower. Annoying right, being so amazing? It would explain why a minority of men keep on thinking, “we cannot let women use their superpowers in the real world. If they do, they will show the real extent of their power and we (still the useless category of men), will be doomed”. Well gents (yep, still same category of men!), that is what seeing a superhero does to you. Just deal with it.


Section: Satire

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