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Orwell to blame for Oxfordshire tremors

George Orwell found spinning in his grave as Oxbridge and QM geologists locate epicentre of recent quakes

Earthquakes affecting much of Oxfordshire in recent weeks are the result of George Orwell spinning in his grave, claim a team of Oxbridge and QM geologists. The quakes have been felt across the region, one of which reaching an unprecedented 2.6 on the Richter Scale, causing up to tens of pounds in damage. The epicentre of the quakes has been traced to Sutton Courtenay, a small village close to Abingdon. The village church yard is the final resting place of famous literary figure George Orwell, the author of novels including 1984 and Animal Farm.

The team of geologists were shocked at what they found when tracing the epicentre. Head of Geology at QM, Sally Calpol said: “I thought I had seen it all last year when we were investigating submerged granite formations near Grimsby and we found the skeleton of a small (as yet) unidentified Pokemon, but what we unearthed in Oxfordshire tops that! As we dug deeper, there he was, just gyrating.”

It is not clear yet as to the frequency or speed of the spins, but it is thought that the spinning will continue. The cause of the spinning is unclear, however a source close to Orwell’s estate claims the current state of the left is to blame:

“From Russell Brand calling Owen Jones ‘Our Generation’s Orwell’ to Ed Miliband dribbling bacon butty over himself. It was only a matter of time before he started turning. I can’t see him slowing down come May either.”

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