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The Quizard of Queen Mary

Jacob McQuarrie recaps on the Film Society Quiz

On Tuesday 11th November Queen Mary’s Film Society turned The Victoria Pub into a battleground. Seven teams entered, their only weapons their minds (all other weapons were confiscated at the door). This would be a quiz no one would ever forget. There was everything to play for: a £30 Genesis voucher, a round of drinks, and third prize was a collection of snacks. People had composed haikus in anticipation (“Come to the film quiz/It is not about cling film/Unfortunately” – Holly Burnham).

The teams were: The Quizard of Oz; The DD Tops; The Spice Girls; The Sinister Six; Sacks of Sh*t (We’re going to beat you, Baker); John Triviolta and Otrivia Newton John; The Far North Appreciation Society (in association with Nick Cleeve).

The various rounds would test these teams in ways they’d never been tested before. They would be brought to their breaking point.  There would be tears, and maybe even blood. Only the strongest had a hope of surviving.

The room was alight with the sounds of teams furiously trying to solve all the questions. Delighted “Oh’’s filled the room anytime an answer was figured out, dismayed “Oh”s filled the room whenever people were tragically stumped. Some desperately begged for clues, only to have their request cruelly declined with the explanation that “There are no clues in life.”

During a brief break the half time scores were announced: The Quizard of Oz had the lead. But down in fourth place a rivalry had formed: Sacks of Sh*t (We’re going to beat you, Baker) and The Far North Appreciation Society (in association with Nick Cleeve) were tied. Things had heated up. This was a rivalry to match all great rivalries, like Muhammad Ali vs. Joe Frazier, like Lauda vs. Hunt. Like Lance Armstrong vs. the United States Anti-Doping Agency.

After a few more rounds it was time for the grand finale. Teams were shown five film posters with some subtle alterations: all the faces had been replaced by members of the film society. Everyone had to name the film or the actors on the original poster. After the reveal of Nick, Actually (an improved version of Love, Actually where everyone is former president Nick Cleeve) leading to the quizmasters being branded “absolute f*cking monsters”, the quiz ended.

The final results were added up. In third place and taking home all the snacks were The DD Tops. In second place a tie between Sacks of Sh*t and The Far North Appreciation. The grand winner was…drumroll please… John Triviolta and Otrivia Newton John!

And so with the dust settled on the battlefield, it was time to disperse. Into the night, never to be seen again. Until the day came when it was time to quiz again. When people would look to the sky and wonder who the most filmed author was? Or which area of East London It Always Rains on Sunday was set in (every area?) Then would the quizzers and the quizzed return. However, before it was time to disperse, everyone stayed in the Victoria for drinks. Then they dispersed.

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