Hello, residents of and visitors* to Daisydale. This is the first instalment in our new Community Noticeboard. Our Benevolent Leader – who goes by many names – will use this medium to warn residents of potential dangers, and would like to remind us that danger lurks behind every solid mass, including our new Community Noticeboard. But mainly amongst the trees.
*Or at least I would say ‘hello’ to a visitor if I had ever seen one. Our green valley home does not accommodate visitors. It never has. Visitors do not come here. The Jolly One has never allowed visitors. And thus you have never had one. You have never seen one. However, if you do perchance happen to see one, Our Leaders – who, as you know, bear many names – remind you that you are required to report the sighting to the Appropriate Authority (there is only one) without delay.
Already, without even having published this instalment yet, a group of conscientious residents have come forward to report the mysterious sighting of a Faun. The Faun, speckled and brown, was seen today frolicking amongst the sharp foliage found on the western boundary of our valley. You know, that foliage. The foliage that grew atop the knoll. The foliage – come on, you know which I mean. The foliage that just kept growing, the foliage that would not stop growing, the foliage that grew through our streets, into our homes and away with our children. Think of the children. Think of the loss of those children, but don’t get carried away. Before you think of the children, I suggest you think about consulting our Community Book of Thought.
Is that better? The gates to the Western Wood have been locked for many years – I think we all remember The Event – and thus seemingly the Faun has the ability to transcend solid boundaries. Coincidentally, trotting to and fro through solid iron has just been strictly prohibited, and so Our Benefactors have released this statement from the subterranean corridors in which they reside;
“It would be wrong of any resident to think they saw a Faun,
as the Faun does not exist. Think about it, residents – how often
is it that you feel those who exist only in the printed word are more real
than those who stand beside you? Even if ‘those’ in question are in fact
rustic forest creatures, and if all books were burned many years ago.
Coincidentally, we are beside you right now.
We, your Leaders, are what is real, Daisydale.
That said, do not stray west today. Do not stray west any day. Do not
stray west ever again.”