Protests as Trump Bans Trans Community from Death Squads

Protests as Trump Bans Trans Community from Death Squads

The world has once again been left in a state of utter shock after President Trump has announced via Twitter that the Transgender community is too burdensome to take part in the killing of innocent men, women, and children in some distant (probably Middle Eastern) country.

Sources from inside the White House state that Mr. Trump has reached the conclusion that the $8.4 million (or 0.017% of the annual Department of Defence budget) spent on the medical care for Transgender troops should, instead, be spent on the direct and forceful implementation of American values abroad – in the hopes of transforming non-white civilisations.

The huge financial drain these soldiers apparently are on the US Army in regards to mental health care has absolutely no relation to the intense distress caused by maiming foreign populations. Therefore, removing Trans people from active duty will not only help them live happy lives, but it will, according to experts from Trump University™ “Make America Great Again”.

However, opponents of the ban argue that anyone should have the right to sign up to legitimate patriotic death squads. One 21-year-old LGBT+ activist at a protest in downtown D.C told us “if I want to play a role in breaking international laws in order boost the American economy, then I should be both encouraged and allowed to do so”.

So, without the “disruption” of the huge number of Trans soldiers (between 1,320 and 6,630), the US Army can finally go back to being a ruthless killing machine again and will hopefully be able to afford to Hiroshima the fuck out of Pyongyang.

 

Image: Michael Vadon/flickr


Section: Satire

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