SHOCK HORROR: Internet meme turns out to be old-fashioned toff

SHOCK HORROR: Internet meme turns out to be old-fashioned toff

Whole country surprised as nobody expected Jacob Rees-Mogg, Member of Parliament for the year 1867, to have old fashioned views

Readers of this are probably already aware of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s interview on Good Morning Britain on Wednesday.

The interview, which was headed by Piers Morgan, came in light of a recent ConservativeHome poll, showing Rees-Mogg as the most popular choice to lead the party after the Maybot 3000 becomes defunct when (her warranty) the Brexit negotiation ends. Admittedly, this ‘lead’ in the poll was a sum total of but 23% of respondents – but anything for a story, right?

No longer the usual novelty guest on Sunday politics shows, Rees-Mogg was suddenly being held to the same level of scrutiny which a future leader of the Conservatives – or future Prime Minister for that matter – might encounter.

One question especially caught the attention of netizens around the UK. When asked the question as to whether he agreed with abortion, Rees-Mogg claimed he did not, and stated that he believed that life begins at conception.

Around the UK, the Twitter militia got ready to bear their 140 character-arms, outraged that a man who still drives a Bentley and wears tweed seemingly as a hobby, might have such old-fashioned views as being against abortion. “Such a betrayal! How dare he!” They furiously typed, grabbing their modern-day pitchforks (smartphones), as he continued to drone on in his 1950s BBC RP accent.

Many users who took offence at the comments spoke of how they were woken up to the reality of his quaint backwards lifestyle. “Honestly”, started one man who immediately rescinded his ‘like’ of ‘Middle Class Memes For Rees-Moggian Teens’ on Facebook, “I took him as a meme, a man to look to for a good chuckle at the expense of the lower class and a proponent for charming old fashioned values.” Turns out his pitfall was that he just didn’t adhere to those socially acceptable old fashioned values, eh readers?

However, outrage was stalled as Rees-Mogg continued to defend his actions despite the bulldog-like questioning of Morgan. He drew upon the Renaissance values of the separation of personal and private. He may believe one thing, however of course he would never actualise that belief in a position of power! How preposterous!

Twitterites halted their abusive posts. Facebook likes of his meme page recovered to normal (disconcertingly high) levels. All was well! Of course, Rees-Mogg may be a sexist, backwards, old-fashioned toff – but he’d never make the office of Prime Minister a sexist, backwards, old fashioned toff! Marvellous!

“I mean,” said one Twitter user who issued a formal apology to Rees-Mogg after immediately defaming him, “it’s not as if the personal opinions of leaders affect their decisions in any way.”

As the internet grinds back into its usual calm, meme-based humour, all this author is questioning is why, when faced with both Morgan and Rees-Mogg on the same screen, viewers didn’t immediately spew up their breakfast and dash to change the channel. Some things, however, remain a mystery.


Section: Satire

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