DIY: Make Your Own Bath in QM Halls (three easy steps!)

DIY: Make Your Own Bath in QM Halls (three easy steps!)

How to draw a bath in your en-suite room on campus

My dear readers, I have previously expressed how much of a genius I am, but this week I found myself perhaps reaching my absolute zenith of intelligence. Here I was, sat in my room scrolling through endless Buzzfeed quizzes, when the thought struck me: I wanted a bath. Truly, I cannot recall what sparked this sudden need. Perhaps it was the memory of bubbles, of scolding hot water, or of the slightly muggy feeling one gets after languishing in a tub of their own watered down filth for 45-90 minutes. All I can say, dear readers, is that I was desperate for a good dunk.

So my friends, I used my brain. I engineered a bath right here in my very room (en-suite applicable only). You see, our bathrooms are rather well sealed. A wet room, one may call it. And my dear reader, you must see where I am going with this; as next I will identify for you the weak spots in your bathroom to make yourself a stand-up bath.

Items you will need: 7 large fluffy towels (+1 extra to dry yourself after) or a suitable item that will block water, 1 roll duct tape.

Step 1: Block your toilet with x2 fluffy towels. This is most important, not least because you don’t want any toilet backwash entering your bath, but it’s also the largest weak spot in the whole bathroom. Skipping this step will lead to a fruitless endeavour, and I highly recommend you secure your towels down into the toilet bowl firmly.

Step 2: Place remaining towels under the door, over the grate in your shower, and in the sink. For extra effect, use some industrial grade sealant. However, duct tape can be used to seal those extra cracks around the door frame.

Step 3: Get ready for the time of your life as you turn on your shower and sink to the perfect bathing temperature and wait for the water to rise to just below your head. Take care not to drown.

Warning: may result in walls collapsing, loss of deposit/ degree, excessive mould and/or contraction of cholera. To ensure the safest bath possible, we recommend reinforcing the walls with wooden planks on the outside of the bathroom.

 

So that’s it dear readers, your easy 3 step plan for that perfect after-lecture luxury *wink face*. And the only damage done was the leak in the floor below. Fabulous!

Send in some cheeky pics of your own DIY bath for the chance to win some industrial grade sealant for those future girlie nights in!

 

 


Section: Satire

There is 1 comment for this article
  1. Chloe Rennard at 9:58 am

    WOW!! What some amazing tips!!! I’m so sad I’ve moved out of halls and can’t try this anymore! Maybe I will break into my old room and flood that poor, unsuspecting person’s bathroom all in the name of luxury!!!

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