This Article is De-Classified

This Article is De-Classified

A letter explaining the Student Union’s recent action on the tabloids

Привет Comrades, I greet you from the Socialist Republic of Queen Mary with great news! Our wise, democratic leaders have announced that they have freed us from the burden of critical thinking and the hideous free market that allows the decadence of personal choice. They have accomplished this magnificent feat by banning the sale of the Daily Mail, Daily Express and The Sun, and now we know that with the abolition of these papers, the presence of the treacherous ‘right’ will completely dissipate from our campus. This motion was decided by our benevolent leaders with a majority of a staggering 14 student representatives! Праздновать, they carried the heavy burden of this decision because, as we know, the students and their sensitive minds cannot handle such a weighty decision, neither do they possess the ability to control their emotions when exposed to an opposing point of view.

Now we know which papers deviate from the party line and can thus avoid bringing them on campus. But fear not миленький comrades, if you still wish to waste your allowance on such literature, you are welcome to purchase it off campus and bring it onto the premises… but rest assured, brothers and sisters, stop and searches would have surely been carried out campus wide if the cost of enforcing them wasn’t too high, but we should still thank our leaders for allowing such freedom. The Student’s Union wishes to honour the memory of the Great comrade Stalin, who also championed censorship and the banning of literature. In the near future your union will continue to challenge the idea of a campus that promotes a culture of free thought, the sharing of ideas and in particular, civil debate!

That is the end of this communication. Always remember, comrades, having the wrong opinion can land you in a lot of trouble!

до свидания сейчас

Commissar Sutherland

Image: Eric E Castro/flickr


Section: Satire

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